Most of you know about the breakup I went through over Christmas. What some of you might not know is that this is the first time in my life I’ve ever lived on my own and I can honestly say… it’s bloody amazing.
I’ve always been a people pleaser.
A feeder.
A single mum.
A carer.
A full-time worker.
The one who manages the home and keeps everything ticking over.For the first time ever, I can truly put myself first.And yes, of course I have sad moments. I miss my ex that’s only natural. But oh my goodness, there is something incredibly refreshing about realising I can just be. I can do what I want, when I want. Not that I was ever stopped from doing what I wanted, but when you live with someone and you naturally put them first especially when you’re a mum who’s spent her life looking after everyone else you don’t notice you’ve stopped looking after you.
I used to have my “me time” maybe an hour a week to go for a swim or a walk but even then my mind was full.
What’s for dinner?
Have I washed the uniforms?
How am I picking the kids up when I’m working?You don’t realise it at the time, but you slowly lose yourself.
And yes, that’s part of life. I’m not saying we shouldn’t care or take responsibility of course we should. But what I’m saying is how unbelievably relaxing it is to stop planning for everyone else for a moment.Now I can listen to the music I like.
Watch what I want.
Enjoy peace and quiet no television on all day (that used to drive me mad).What I’m getting at is this: I truly believe people should spend time on their own at some point in their lives. Even go on holiday alone if they can. Find themselves again. Remember who they are.
If I had taken the time earlier to really relax and reconnect with myself, I think I would have felt things properly and dealt with life in a healthier way.
To be 57 and only have to worry about me in terms of living arrangements feels wonderful. Don’t get me wrong, I will always worry about my grown up kids and my grandchildren. That never goes away.
But honestly… when your home, your space, and your day are just yours it’s like a breath of fresh air.
My message to you lovely lot 💙
Please remember you matter too.
Don’t lose yourself. Take time for you, and not just an hour here and there. You need moments where you truly shut your mind off from everything else and focus on just you.
And I honestly think the best way to do that is to treat yourself the way you treat your children or the person you’re with. With care, thought, and love.
Yes, wouldn’t it be amazing to go away on your own for a week? But the truth is, not everyone can do that. I know I never could have.
So start small.
Instead of cooking what everyone else wants, eat what you want.
Have a proper me day where it’s your choice of food, your music, your programme on the telly, your outing, your pace.
Do something just because you want to.
It isn’t selfish.
It’s giving yourself permission to be you.
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